So I’m completely done with the GRE. Wonderful! And I’m working on my portfolio. Awesome. But I’m not Really working on it. What is it about procrastination that gets you to surf mindlessly for 45 minutes until you realize, “Wait, why was I on my computer in the first place? Oh yes! I’m writing!” Why is it so hard to concentrate on getting the words on the page? The fear of accomplishing something? Fear of sounding like an idiot? Or the daunting task of editing the whole thing afterwards? I think it’s a little bit of everything.
I guess the real fact that I’m applying to graduate school is affecting me more than I think. And the cold reality of being rejected from the nine schools I’m applying to. I know this kind of thinking gets me nowhere and very pessimistic which leaves back to square one: Procrastination!
If I have a plan to make things happen, make a list, and follow it then I’ll feel accomplished. November is around the corner and I have a story that has completely changed its tone, voice, and POV. That’s great but what if I revise and it does a complete 360 again? I’m sure it’ll be fine. The more I write, the more my writing will improve.
All I need to do is believe in myself and stop comparing myself to others. Keep at it.