MFA applications – 2nd round

I’m writing. I’m reading. I’m reading about writing. I’m reading about writing as a writer. I’m writing about writing and reading. I’m doing the work. But I’m not MFA application ready.

I want to be so solid that I’m a shoe in. I want to spend another year thoroughly researching my programs and have a great manuscript ready for the applications. My spirits are lackluster in applying this time around and I’d rather not haphazardly apply in the hopes I’ll get in and then kick myself for not providing myself with more time to hone my work.

I’ve made my decision but am open to suggestions. Should I wait another year to apply or should I apply this year?

The MFA

Read a bunch of forum replies on the Poets and Writer’s Speakeasy Forum about MFA programs and the responses have rejuvenated my interest in applying.

I don’t know; there’s something magical, fun, and enchanting about sitting in a room with your peers who love writing and reading as much as you do. It’s like when you connect with someone who is as passionate about the genre of films you’re interested in. I don’t know how it’ll be second time around but I am excited to be applying again. This time, no anxiety – just anticipation for the best.

Statement of Purpose

What does this even mean, really? And how much does this matter in my application for graduate school? If my writing is solid and my personal statement is iffy, will they not accept me because of that?

I have not started any personal statement/statement of purpose. I have an idea about what I’ll be writing but I have not settled on anything yet. I might write about this blog but am unsure how I’d approach it. I don’t know if I should even mention I’m applying for the second time this year. I can’t write about how much I’ve loved writing – it’s a cliché.

What can I write about myself that I’ve learned this year? Well, something was missing from my writing, that’s for sure. I see writing and inspiration in everything. I’m more dedicated to creating and being present on the page. I’m also aware there’s resistance to move forward because I’m afraid of my own failure. I’ve procured a new set of experiences to include in my “statement of purpose” but my purpose is to write. Well then, why should I get an MFA then? I don’t really need it, do I? I’m surrounding and seeking out writers in my free time. I’m in a writing workshop that’s starting out great! What else do I need?

What will writing in that environment do for me? Challenge me in ways I can never get on my own. I’ll be surrounded by writers all the time. See? It sounds like my other personal statement. I’ll get there when I’m good and ready. I need to make my submission tight first.

GRE test scores

I took the test last year and I don’t have to take it again this year (yay!). But I will have to pay to send these scores to the schools that want “official” test scores which will be annoying.

I have to sit down and figure that out. Hopefully only a few schools will require them. The application is all about my work anyway; screw the scores!

But alas, I will, as anyone applying to an MFA program, have to go through this process. The upside? Not studying for the GRE this fall! Yes!

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret

Author: Judy Blume

Published by: Random House (1970)

Margaret Ann Simon is eleven going to twelve. Brought up on the Upper West Side, moving to the suburbs of New Jersey was new to her. She meets Nancy Wheeler, the girl who is dying to be grown up and becomes part of the PTS’s – The Pre-teen Sensations along with Gretchen and Janie. The girls have meetings once a week to discuss boys, school, and getting their period. Throughout this time, Margaret talks to God sometimes and is questioning her faith. Not being brought up with any religious affiliation has her questioning and researching. At the end, we see her finally becoming a “woman” and talking to God.

Why’s it taking so long?

One of my classmates in my memoir writing class shared with us that she was accepted to the Writer’s Workshop at the University of Iowa.  I was so happy for her and impressed; Iowa is one of the best schools one can get accepted to and its a free ride!  She’ll be missing our class next week and possibly the last class because she’ll be visiting Iowa.  How exciting is that?  She also said that because none of her friends are writers, they have no idea how huge this is.  She’ll be getting her MFA from one of the most prestigious writing schools out there.  Pretty frakking kool.

On my front, second week of March and four schools pending without any indication of acceptance or rejection.  When I check the mail everyday, I brace myself for good or bad news.  Once I notice I don’t have mail from a school, I relax.  But I know when I receive a single thin envelope that its totally a rejection.  I’m waiting on Four, for crying out loud!  It’s driving me crazy.  However, I am writing on a more consistent basis, which is wonderful for me.  Which brings me to…

Am I writing in the wrong genre?  I’m enjoying my memoir writing class too much and have had no interest in crafting a fictional piece.  I’m probably feeling this way because I realize that my submission to graduate school wasn’t interesting or insightful which showed.  I was content with the way the piece was written but not the underlying message or the characters.  I didn’t even like my protagonist; I liked the people causing her harm more than the other way around.

Additionally, because I have been journaling for as long as I can remember, writing about my life is effortless.  Every assignment is a breeze; even the piece that I workshopped the first time and this second time around, I felt proud of and I look forward to receiving feedback.  I think getting workshopped is great but sometimes I rely too much on workshopping when I write a piece.  I anticipate some critiques and most aren’t a surprise, which I’m unsure if its a good thing or a bad thing – meaning, I know my writing so well I know the good and the bad things myself.

I can’t front though; workshopping has significantly attributed to me having the knowledge now about my writing and my pattern.  I have to say I have been amazed at how far I have come from my first workshop.

I am patient with the possibility of having a significant other, moving on my own someday, being at my ideal weight, running a marathon but, I’m extremely impatient with this!  I wanna know Now if I’m in or out so I can move on with my life.  I’ll just bury my head in the sand and wait for my frakking letters.  (R.I.P. John Hughes)

Classical Music

Doing my memoir writing homework took so long the other day for two reasons: I was too distracted and feeling down from receiving the third rejection letter from my MFA schools and because I didn’t have the right music to concentrate to!

I own classical music but I rarely listen to my many compilations…until now.  I normally create a playlist in my iTunes for writing but then I become distracted and sing along to the songs.  Mission, not accomplished. 

I’m glad I have rediscovered my classical music.  While completing my homework for the week, I was in the zone.  I wrote from my soul and heart; all the hurt inside from my adolescence was spewing on the page.  I tried to make the passage less of a hodgepodge of things but I think I want the piece to work that way.  Seems like I’m on my way to writing pieces of my memoir.  I never thought I’d be writing those words…ever!

Classical music is amazing.  Thank goodness I have over ten discs (or more) of different artists.  I can’t wait to rediscover my music and write more!

Another Rejection letter

Ouch – this time around it was the University of Massachusetts at Amherst.  Why did I apply to these schools again and not schools that I knew I’d get into?  I’m crazy!  I applied to amazing schools that are in the top ten.  Each time I receive an email or letter (thin, one sheet), I know its a rejection letter.  It’s making me wonder if I should give up this MFA thing in general; I’m trying not to but “deflation” is the word that’s coming to mind right now.

I keep going back and forth, right?  I’m fine, I’m not fine, I’m fine, I’m not fine.  At the end of the day, I’m ranting here for all the world to share (or not) my pain in this process.  Then I get back into the reality game in which I read and write as usual.  I haven’t been writing though – but I must!  The goal this month is to submit something; I have to write!

I’m not a loser, a phony, a hack, or even lousy; practice makes perfect and I need more practice.  Should start researching low residency options soon!

Visiting Schools

While visiting San Francisco, I visited two schools: the University of San Francisco and the California College of Arts.  Both lovely schools on different merits.

I started with the University of San Francisco.  Located in the hub of the city in which one can take the Muni Bus (their version of MTA buses; they have different transit systems to take you around by different companies, kind of like the old school NYC) or walk to different shopping districts.  The campus was utterly gorgeous.  There was a great view of the skyline, the Golden Gate Bridge, and the ocean from where I stood on the top of the hill. 

A bright sophomore was the tour guide of all three of us: an undergraduate with company and myself, a prospective graduate student.  She showed us the gorgeous church which is so popular that if an alumnus wants to wed in said church, this person must book three years in advance.  Additionally, students graduate in this church.  It’s really a sight to see. 

She showed us the library, a freshman dorm room, the fitness facilities, the cafeteria, and told us about all the activities on campus.  At the time, they were installing an ice skating rink free for students.  It was a very informative tour.

Then I returned to speak to the academic advisor and he was oh so lovely.  He told me about the program and how it’s formatted for an adult’s busy lifestyle: classes take place in the evening on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.  Additionally, there is the opportunity to work on their online literary journal Switchback and attend readings in which authors read their works in progress at times.  The most salient feature of this visit was the opportunity to peruse their syllabi from past semesters.  I absolutely fell in love with the curriculum!!  Their program for fiction writers is divided based on Long Fiction and Short Fiction.  However, for the final thesis, one has the choice to combine genres.  Not many people do it, but one can choose to do so.  Their syllabi had classes that ranged from a researching class for a piece and revising your work.  I don’t see that in any Gotham classes I’ve taken. Those classes would be really helpful.  All in all, if not present in my florid descriptions of the program, I fell in love.  The price is…what it is but I’ll worry about that when and if I’m accepted.

I also visited the California College of Arts located in a far section that took me forever to find.  Think Williamsburg when there were only warehouses on Bedford Avenue (read: desolate).  After forty five minutes, I found two buildings that meld into the other nondescript buildings, and got to the Admissions office.  I met one of the Admissions advisors who was our tour guide.  I thought this was actually nice and that we would get a more in depth look of the campus. 

Because there were only two people at the time in our tour (one woman, whom I later found out lived in Greenpoint and traveled from the east coast just for this tour, joined us later), we stopped in the writing department.  This was a pleasant getaway for writers to meet with their mentors, attend readings, work on the literary magazine, Eleven Eleven, and relax with peers or on their own.  The outdoors section was inviting with a mini fountain but the inside was like any other rented space. 

The rest of the tour was in the building in which most of the classes took place.  We walked into textiles, design, wood shop, and other hands on classes in session.  It was interesting to see and I saw how the university fostered different artists and their many talents.  I enjoyed being plunged into this world for a bit but, I could not imagine myself attending the university.  I’m a writer and yes, while it’s great to be looking for inspirations in the most unlikely places, but with no real campus except for the city, I was not interested. 

I left the campus, happy that I visited, and sad that I would not be applying.  It’s a shame because upon reading the description online, I was looking forward to possibly attending the university.  Knowing the campus and visiting the program always provides you with a better feel of the university.

For graduate school, most don’t really suggest visiting until one is accepted but I went ahead and did it anyway.  I’m glad I did.  Saved me on application fees!

University of San Francisco Creative Writing Program