Christopher Pike’s Vampire

Remember that favorite teen author of mine I thought wasn’t remembered by folks other than my generation? Well, turns out the majority of his novels are being re-issued by Simon Pulse and now teens are being introduced to his work! This is exciting news! And on top of that, he’s still writing furiously with more works in the future. Which brings me to…

Christopher Pike wrote six novels about The Last Vampire which have all been re-released. According to an interview on The Christopher Pike Fan Club website, Pike has written a new set of stories for the series. He mentioned these books are much better than the former. I hope so because I couldn’t even get through book three – the writing did not hold well up for me. The story was fun and fascinating but I could not continue.

There’s more here! According to Empire.com, The Last Vampire will be a big screen movie. All this Twilight madness has made vampires fun again (which is good for Christopher Pike) and I hope whoever writes the script does Pike’s content justice. Additionally, the director and production team. Dates have not been announced yet which means it’ll be another year or so until we’ll hear more about this project.

Here’s to Christopher Pike and all his successes! Before Stephen King, I was all about Christopher Pike all the way and I’m so happy he’s still around!

Can’t wait to see what he has in store for us.

For anyone who’s not familiar with his work – adult or young adult – I’d suggest picking up Remember Me (young adult) which reads well for adults. I recently re-read this story last year and this is definitely a book that gets better with every reading. I’ve got Pike fever! And soon you will too!

Cocky unpublished authors

Last week at my internship, the first few lines of a query letter read like this:

“I have no desire to permanently join your current stable of writers. I have written this one novel and I’ve said everything that I care to say within it.”

Who sends this to a literary agent? Who does this? Is this person seriously thinking he will receive a response from the agent? I was shocked and wondered how so many unpublished authors can be so cocky.

There is a certain assertiveness and confidence that writers should have with their writing but there should be a balance when they want an agent in order to be published!

This isn’t the first I’ve read. Others have discussed profits upfront and other madness.

The best advice for authors is to be humble; no one likes to deal with arrogant people, especially those that don’t have anything to show for being arrogant.

Be easy and be humble. If you get a super big fat advance, then there’s a little room to be overconfident but that’s after you get in the door. Make a good first impression. Publishing is a very small world.

The Writer Magazine

I bought The Writer Magazine once and fell in love with the articles and advice about writing. Did I subscribe to the magazine? No. I hadn’t taken myself seriously then. Will I subscribe now? Frak yes!

A friend of mine recently sent me a link on an article recently published titled, “50 simple rules for making it as a writer.” I don’t want to be sued by anyone so I’m posting the link here.

For writers confused about the self-publishing and the logistics about becoming published, this article should answer those questions.

I hope this article helps!

The terrible query letters

Do not, under any circumstances, ever ever tell a literary agent that your novel is half-finished!  This is the best way to receive a rejection letter in the mail.  Seriously, folks – I don’t understand this.  Even if you are trying to be honest, LIE.  The agency wouldn’t know the difference anyway because sample chapters are requested first and if the samples are great, then the manuscript.  This is the stupidest mistake I’ve seen by far.

International folks – if you haven’t been living under a rock for the past decade, email the damn query.  Why waste postage on a SASE when you can just save time sending an email instead?  Plus, here’s a little secret – if you don’t send a SASE or there isn’t an email anywhere on your letter, you might as well be rejected.  Agencies don’t call folks to get contact information.  In this case, no answer is your answer.

My favorite is the query letter that doesn’t provide any indication or even title of the author’s work.  Good job.  When you make the intern or agent work to read your query, this will ultimately land you a rejection letter, easy.

For non-fiction queries, provide a proposal and a synopsis of your work.  Don’t provide a practically five page essay or in some cases, the home page of your blog, as your query.  The point is to be succinct, my friends, because brevity will work out in your favor.  It’s happened because I’ve seen it happen!  I read a query that provided an “in” for a writer in which I asked to read a sample of his work.  Unfortunately, the sample wasn’t a-mazing, but the process took him that far.  Therefore, lesson learned here: even if your work is panned, then you know you should revise your piece but your query letter was your access!

I can tell you that I’ve read badly written query letters with five typos (or more) in the first paragraph alone and I’ve already mentally rejected the author.  I do have the courtesy to read the query from beginning to end but I know that I’ll be crafting a rejection letter soon after.  Plus, there are so many rejection letters to send and queries to read so why waste the time on a terribly written query?

One last piece of advice: if you email a query in January and have not heard from anyone in April, take it easy.  Email inboxes are backed up and you’ll receive word eventually.  Plus, don’t wait on the one literary agency for your work.  If you’ve submitted to a bunch of places, keep submitting or work on something else.  Be occupied.  I understand it’s easier said than done but don’t pester literary agencies.  They are busy and you are not the only one who has sent an email query or physical query that hasn’t been answered.  Chill!

Since I don’t want to sound redundant (even though I keep seeing the same mistakes out there), I’ll end it here until next time.

The Infamous Query Spammer

I’m sure most literary agencies know this guy.  At the agency I work for, we recently became privy to this infamous stalker who’s name is Oscar Lee Whitfield.  He put up his own wikipedia page for himself – a link I will not post on this blog.  This man does not understand that the more rejections he receives, the less likely he is to be picked up by an agency.  He is relentless; every day, our inbox reads, “Query #” (we are up to 140) from a different email address but we know its him.  His email is deleted.  The query is always the same and he never rewords the synopsis for his novel.  Once his identity was tweeted a few days ago, he’s become infamous – which only hurts him.  Literary agencies don’t take him seriously and I don’t understand why he doesn’t understand.  If he was rejected by twenty agencies, then, yeah, he should keep going.  But being rejected 6,000 times?  Really?  Still not getting it?  Unsettling.

I will have tenacity once I receive my rejections because let’s face it – as writers, we will be receiving rejections from magazines, schools, agencies, publishing houses – it makes us stronger.  But this is just plain stubborness.  I wonder if anyone has sat down with him, looked at his query, maybe even read his novel and have suggested changes in his novel and letter.  I don’t feel pity for him because he seriously thinks that spamming and emailing queries to every agency daily will change something.  Not likely.

If you are reading this, Oscar, good luck to you.  Maybe you should sit back and rethink your strategy, have someone that doesn’t know you look at your query and novel, and provide constructive feedback.  But I’m only one person.

To everyone else, ya’ll know better.

*Update (8/6/2010): He know has a website. Does he think that will make him more marketable?

New Month, New Goal

March is the start of my birthday month and I choose to celebrate the 31 days of my existence.  Some may say its excessive but I don’t; I see it as a way to do all the fun things I’ve been meaning to do “one day” in one month.  I’ve chosen to follow through on my goals like submitting a story to magazines. 

With that said, the goal this month?  Submit!  I’m proud of the memoir piece I’ve written and intend on submitting the piece to magazines all around.  It’s exciting; I’ve never submitted to magazines before.  That means, a decent query letter and all that jazz.  I’ll ask around at my internship and also writing instructors.

Here we go: another journey I’m going on.  Am I looking forward to this new adventure?  Hell yes!

Let’s work it!

The More You Know…

Once again, I’m here to provide more tidbits for a better query letter.

With the availability of self-publishing, a large number of authors have gone this route and then look for representation afterwards.  Here’s the thing – if you are self-published looking for representation, don’t send a general letter without including synopses for your books.  The agent isn’t interested enough to ask for a synopsis in the first place without any information about your work.  Without any information about your published novels, you will surely receive a rejection letter.

Please please please refrain from including, “my novel was professionally edited” because guess what?  No one cares.  It’s good for you to know but completely irrelevant to the agent.  Make every word of your query letter count and stop wasting space with superfluous information about editing; you are a writer – it’s assumed your novel was edited!

Never Ever ever handwrite a letter.  If you don’t own a word processor/computer, go to the library or have someone type up the letter for you.  And especially don’t send a synopsis as a copy of handwritten notes. 

Exclamation points: I used it above for emphasis but when its used too much, it becomes ridiculous.  Use unless extremely necessary.

When discussing your novel, don’t explain the premise, use the synopsis for that.  It works better.

Lastly, don’t write, “In my opinion…” because guess what?  Your opinion doesn’t matter when it comes to getting an agent; the agent’s opinion does. 

Moral of this entry?  Be like Raymond Carver – make every word work in your letter.  Sometimes less is better. 

Note to Self

- Never include reviews from family members for your completed novel in a query letter.

“As my brother said, it’s fast-paced, intriguing, cogent and insightful…” or

“My wife appraises it as fact based, well-written…”

This makes you look desperate and you’ll definitely won’t land an agent this way.

- If sending a submission from overseas and want your material back, always include a SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope) and please do not expect to receive feedback.  It is highly unlikely that you will receive some feedback as agencies receive hundreds of physical and electronic queries everyday.

- I stress this a lot but please RESEARCH!  Research is key to knowing the kinds of authors the agencies represent and the genres they also consider.  It’ll save you time.  Oh and if you are rejected, don’t take it personal.  There will be another agency that may like your work.

- If you do decide to include a review of your novel (if its self-published), make sure it’s a Glowing adoration of your work.  Anything other than praise will only get your work tossed and a rejection letter in the mail.

- So you know someone at a publishing house.  It’s not really relevant if the person used to work there.  How much credibility does this name have if he or she is a former employee of Simon & Schuster?  Think about it.

- Last thing.  Never fax a query letter.  That’s just stupid.  Doesn’t make you stand out; it makes you look lazy.  If you don’t want to spend money on a stamp, Email!  An electronic submission saves you paper and ink to fax a sheet to an agency.  Make it electronic if you cannot afford a stamp.  Email is free; don’t be stupid.

What not to write on your query letter

I see a lot of the same things on these letters and it goes like this:

My current project, the novel [insert title here] (x + words – ‘narrative fiction’), is
completed, and I am seeking mainstream publication/representation. [Title] is a novel with tremendous market potential, as its characters and components are
representative of today’s [insert issues here]. This novel addresses several key themes: [insert themes here]. The provocative dynamic of the characters reveal the narrator’s inner strength. Despite [title] general focus upon one [feature here], it contains a fictional narrative that will appeal to, and resound with, [insert societal feature]. As a [man/woman] [enter present life situation here], I have a unique perspective on the message contained in [title].

Okay, everyone is Unique but just because you think this story is, doesn’t mean it is!  I think the most irritating aspect of this letter is the fact that the author had to mention his/her background which doesn’t add to the writing of the piece unless it was a memoir.  It’s great that folks like to dramatize their life stories into fictional pieces; I commend that.  What doesn’t help the query letter is any kind of background information like, “I have two dogs, I’m happily married.”  We don’t need to know any of that information.  If the query and the sample is solid, we might care about it then. Additionally, the talk of what the author thinks the story can do.  Don’t do that!  K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple, Stupid.  Brevity is key.

I know I keep using the “we” as if I’m a literary agent, which I’m not, but I am reading over thirty query letters a day that don’t stand out.  It sucks because as a reader, I want to give the author a chance but then he/she messes it up with something stupid like over ten typos in their letter and sample.  Or not realizing that when writing dialogue that the period or comma Always goes inside the quotation marks.  Is that really so hard to understand?  I think the fact that I read so many queries (email and physical) with typos makes me think two things: they are doing this on their own with no support and they just don’t proofread their stuff as closely as they should.  Talk about ruining a first impression!  When there are so many typos, it drives me crazy but maybe that’s just me. 

I think I mentioned this before, but please, frakking proofread your stuff!  Don’t send it out like you don’t even care; we know you care!  Do it for your own sake.  And stop writing about your life story!  Get to the point and don’t drag it out.  Sometimes, giving less is more.  Be succinct.

Good luck!